New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize