STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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