I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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