I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
