i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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