I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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