I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize