wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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