the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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