the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
