She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
