no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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