You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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