May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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