I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
