But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
