Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
