You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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