Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize