I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
