Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
