The maid of honor just puked.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
