it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
