Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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