I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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