I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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