i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
