she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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