Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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