talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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