and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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