Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
