I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
