Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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