I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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