But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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