Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize