yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
