Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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