I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a hot homeless man
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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