areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
