This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
