it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
