Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
