Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
