Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
