youre lurking in front of me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
