I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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