I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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