her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
