my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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