you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize