so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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