Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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