she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
