I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
