Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
