i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
