I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
