I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
