i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
