last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
