The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
