He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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