return my video game
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
