she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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