I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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