Dual....:-)
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
